Feedback on my synopsis please

I am hoping to get a traditional publisher for my second novel “Two Weddings and a Baby”. I have sent a few queries out for children’s picture books but never for full length works. 

I started researching how to write a synopsis and have written one. But, I am not sure if it is quite right.

Please let me know what you think.

Synopsis: “Two Weddings and a Baby” by Jane B Night

“Two Weddings and a Baby” is a historical romance of approximately 55,000 words. It follows the romance of two couples in America during the early 1840’s who must marry and then afterwards find their way to love.
Cadence doesn’t want to go west but her husband Wilbur gives her no choice. The fact that she is pregnant is her problem. Not his. Halfway to their western destination Wilbur dies.
Cadence is stranded in Mapleton. She has no family to return to in the east and she is not capable of going west alone in her condition. Above all else, her child needs a father. She decides that the only option opened to her is to marry a man from Mapleton. She makes inquiries and is introduced to Angelious (Angel) Louis.
Angel Louis lost his hope of a wife and family the day he lost his leg. He believes no woman could want a man with only one leg. He agrees to take in Cadence and to treat her child like his own. But, he will not ask her to share his bed.
Arriving in Angel’s home, Cadence is surprised to find the house full of furniture clearly created with a woman in mind. The furniture in her room is decorated with intricately carved roses. Cadence begins to wonder. Is Angel a widower? Is that why he won’t share her bed? Is he so in love with his departed wife that having Cadence in his home desecrates her memory?
Just as Cadence is getting settled in Angel’s home tragedy strikes and Cadence loses the child she is carrying.
Cadence is afraid Angel will try to end their marriage as there is no longer a child to think of. Angel believes that Cadence will end it for the same reason. They agree to stay married and to address the future of their marriage at a later time.
Meanwhile Suzanne, a friend of Cadence’s from the wagon train, heads west to meet the man she has promised to marry. Johnny and Suzanne were matched through a service and have shared letters.
Suzanne and Johnny marry the evening of her arrival into Jaqualbal Mountaintown and head to the hotel Johnny reserved for the night. As Johnny is preparing to consummate the marriage Suzanne tells him she is a virgin. He leaves the hotel in a rage. In her letters she had told him she was a widow. How can she be both a virgin and a widow? More importantly, what is Johnny supposed to do with her? He doesn’t have much experience with women. He doesn’t want to take a virgin to bed. Suppose he hurts her?
He only married Suzanne to have help taking care of his blind father. He didn’t plan on being married to an innocent woman. Especially when he is a near giant of a man.
Johnny decides that the best thing he can do is to take Suzanne home and then ignore her.
Johnny’s plan goes fairly well until a woman from the local saloon asks him and Suzanne to adopt her son because she is fleeing North and unable to take him.
In Mapleton, Cadence has recovered from her loss and is busying herself with turning Angel’s house into a home and adding additional income to the family through livestock. Though Cadence is busy she wants to find out about Angel and the woman who his home was built for. She also contemplates asking Angel to give her a child as she longs for motherhood.
Through a series of events she learns that Mapleton’s new school teacher, Emily, was engaged to marry Angel. Emily broke off the engagement to marry another when Angel lost his leg. Emily’s husband recently died and she made her way back to her town of birth.
Emily wants a new husband and she approaches Angel and attempts to rekindle the old flame. Angel refuses her but not before Cadence witnesses Emily kissing Angel.
Cadence demands that if Angel wants to remain married to her he must consummate the marriage and give her a child.
Angel agrees to do so even though he feel self conscious because of his amputation.
After consummating the marriage Angel makes plans to remove the furniture he built for Emily from their home and to make new furniture for Cadence.
In Jaqualbal Mountaintown, Suzanne and Johnny are busy raising Richard. Parenting brings them together and allows open communication to develop. Johnny learns that Suzanne married when she was young. Her husband was a cousin. He was also gay. Her husband committed suicide after the death of his lover. Scandal overshadowed Suzanne’s life and set her on the road to becoming a mail order bride. Johnny reveals to her that he is very nearly a virgin himself and hesitant about laying with an equally inexperienced woman.
They finally agree to learn together.
Shortly after the marriage is consummated Richard’s father appears at the house drunk. He wantsto take Richard. He kills Johnny’s father in a drunken rage. Johnny, Suzanne, and Richard are forced to flee. At Suzanne’s urging they make their way to Mapleton to ask Cadence and Angel for temporary shelter.
Angel and Cadence offer refuge to Johnny and Suzanne. Johnny is hired by Angel to help with business expansion and they move nearby.
Cadence becomes pregnant by Angel. Everyone lives happily ever after.


About authorjanebnight

Hello. I am Jane B. Night. I am a writer and also one of the owners of BZ Publishing LLC.
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4 Responses to Feedback on my synopsis please

  1. Since you have two storylines running parallel to one another without intersecting much, you may want to consider summarizing each storyline separately…it gets a little confusing how you skip around in your synopsis. Maybe preceed each storyline summary with a little explanation of how each stoyline runs concurrently, then explain how they come together in the conclusion. Also, your summarization of the conclusion is very brief, and might give the impression its a rushed or overly uncomplicated end to the story.
    But what do I know! Sounds like a fun read. Good luck 🙂

    • Thanks for the feedback. I agree about the ending being too short for sure. I also agree that it might be better to summarize each romance by itself. I will have to try it and see if it works.

  2. jennphelps1 says:

    I would summarize the individual stories and comment that the story lines run parallel. The ending sounds rushed and I would be afraid that a publisher would find the terminology “happily ever after” to be trite. I would talk about how the characters lives intertwine throughout the story eventually leaving no thread unfinished. All of your ends are tied up. Or something to that effect.
    Good luck! Are you going through an agent or direct contact with the publisher?

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