A personal note: We have been struggling with controlling the behavior of my 4 yr old daughter recently and it is one of the reasons I have quit freelancing. We have removed food coloring from her diet which has helped some but we are still struggling.
We saw her doctor, a family councilor, and a behaviorist but so far there hasn’t been much real help. It is my personal opinion that my child may have ADHD and ODD but we were told she is too young to be tested for either. It is something we are really struggling with and some of the books appearing on my reviews in the near future will be about defiance and ADHD.
Without going into too much details I will say my daughter is very aggressive. When she doesn’t get her way she hurts people and things. She can’t leave the house without a harness on because she will pull away from your hand and run away and hide. We have lost her in stores a few times and had some dangerous situations so now we are all about prevention. She has difficulty listening to directions and getting her to focus when you talk to her on what you are saying is a challenge. She also has a very difficult time playing non physical imaginative games. For instance, she is perfectly happy to pretend to be a dinosaur and wrestle around on the ground but she can’t play dolls or house with her sister for more than a minute or so. We had been trying to help her by giving her extra exercise but even after a three mile walk she is running in circles around the house. She was born preterm, is a twin, and was only 3 lbs 14 oz at birth so it is possible that there may be other or different problems with her development but I a friend whose son has ADHD and ODD and she feels that much of what my daughter is experiencing is similar to what they have been through.
Summary- This book talks about why children are defiant and gives eight steps to try to eliminate much of the compliance.
I really enjoyed this book and found it very useful. The author talked about defiant children and really described much of the behavior I experience with my youngest child who is 4. It really helped me understand her better and also why we were having some of the challenges in our family that we were.
We have been using the program for about a month now and it has been fairly effective. One of the big topics of this book is a reward system and that has been very useful for some aspects of our life (toileting, eating, cleaning, and sleeping). We still have some struggles that the reward system has been less helpful with (aggression and volume control are still big problems).
I loved the set up of the book and really appreciated the answers to common questions. I would actually have liked to see just a little bit more of those. I think they were the most helpful part of the book.
I felt like after reading the book I understood the issues we have better and that alone made it worth the read. Also, the steps described have made a difference in our lives. Understand though that the book can’t work miracles either though and that even after completely incorporation the measures in this book you may not have a fully compliant child.